I freaking love fritters. It’s just a way to eat vegetables without it feeling like a vegetable. You can eat them as a side dish or use them as a bun for a burger. They’re super versatile. Ok, not SUPER, but still versatile. I wanted these fritters to have more of a creamy component to them like normal fritters often do when they add cheese to them, so I added some almond milk cream cheese. It just keeps them…wait for it…moist. That’s the best word for it. I ate these little fritters for days and loved them, even cold. If you have a picky eater in your life who refuses any veggies, give these a go!
I’m currently in Bali right now, still waking up at 5:45am like I do at home, because the creatures here really like to make themselves known when the sun starts to rise. They’re loud AF. I’m not totally sure how the people who party all night long sleep in and recover because it seems impossible here. Constant animals, constant scooters, and constant bugs ready to bite you all over your body. I’m covered in body odor and bug bites right now. Bali seems like a place that would be awesome to meet dudes in your early 20’s when you could care less about if they had a job or a hairbrush. But looking at the guys while I’m in my early 30’s, all I can think about is if they have showered in the past week and if they can start a sentence without saying bruh. My friend Jess came out to Bali to travel for 6 weeks and all of our friends said she would meet her husband out here, maybe have an Eat Pray Love kind of moment. But there’s just no way. All the dudes we’ve seen out here in Canggu are either definitely on steroids or only care about shredding the gnar. It’s fascinating.
Bali is such an interesting place. It’s filled with the best looking people maybe ever. I’ve never seen more fit people in my life. And there are so many different cultures combined in one place. While I’ve been here, I’ve met exactly zero Americans and I haven’t even heard any American accents. But I’ve met Australians, Koreans, Swedes, Germans, New Zealanders, Indians, and about a million others. And I kind of understand why. That flight about killed me. 30 hours in tight spaces, bumping shoulders with a stranger next to you, fighting for overhead bin space; it just really breaks a person down. I got sick as soon as I landed and it’s taken me almost a week to recover. After this trip, I don’t think I’ll want to fly for quite a while. Which isn’t great news since I’m only home for 6 days before I leave again. Ughhhhh. You know what I’m gonna do right now? Upgrade our seats for the way home. Doing it now.
Bali is also super woo-woo. And now I kind of love it. I did an astrology reading yesterday and she told me I’m an empath and I take on other people’s energy. She told me that I was probably super uncomfortable on flights and couldn’t sleep because I’m taking on the energy of people around me. Which is SO TRUE! The only flight I’ve ever been able to sleep on is when I flew first class and had a seat that laid down. Along with a strong xanax. My husband falls asleep the second he sits down in his chair. Bastard. The entire reading was absolutely bananas. My husband went first, then me, and almost everything she said was completely spot on about both of us. I’m pretty skeptical about that kind of stuff, but she nailed us down. I’m now a believer. I seriously loved it so much that I’m going to record a podcast episode about our experience to share it all with you guys. My head is still spinning from it! So pumped to talk about it on the podcast! Ok, now I must go eat coconut milk ice cream for lunch in Canggu before we make our way to Uluwatu! Byyyyyye!
- 1/2 pound bacon
- 1 head of cauliflower, finely blended in food processor (about 3 cups worth)
- 2 eggs, whisked
- 1/2 cup almond milk cream cheese
- 1 cup paleo baking flour
- 1 small shallot, minced
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- lots of salt (about 2 or 3 teaspoons, depending on your salt preference)
- pinch of black pepper
- 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- chopped chives, for garnish
- Place bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook on both sides until crispy, about 10 minutes, chop into fine pieces then set aside. Leave about 3 tablespoons of bacon fat in the pan.
- Finely grate/blend the cauliflower in a food processor until fine (it should resemble cauliflower rice) then mix in a large mixing bowl with the rest of the ingredients (except for the chives) and mix to completely combined. Fold in bacon pieces.
- Place the large nonstick skillet over medium-low heat. While the skillet heats back up, use a cookie scoop to scoop out 15-17 scoops then form in to small patties. Place in the skillet being sure to not overcrowd the pan, and cook for around 5-6 minutes per side. Keep an eye on the heat to make sure the fritters are browning without burning. This may take a couple batches.
- Once the fritters are done, top them with fresh chives before serving!
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